The Answer...

{re-presenting it with minor changes... hope you like it... - Arin}

The girl sat looking at the big cross, her hands together, few strands of her hair falling above her eyes that barely stopped a stream of tears. With his hands nailed and so his feet too, the lean figure of Jesus hanged from the cross, with his head drooped sideways. She kept staring at the figure for a long time. Gradually all the others who were there to pray left, and then she was there alone.

"What wrong did I do lord?" she sobbed, "I loved him with all my heart. With everything I had. And yet, he played with it. And then just threw me aside like a doll he was done playing with and left."

Tears kept coming out of her eyes as she left her seat, went and knelt down near the cross looking up at it. "What do I do now?" She closed her eyes and dug her face between her hands and wept.

Sometime later...

"Hey!" she heard a voice, "wake up."

Startled she got up. He was standing in front of her, and had a little smile on his face.

"I am sorry" she said, "I must have dozed off."

"Never mind" he said, "come, take a walk with me."

"I better be going home" she hesitated.

"Of course you will" he replied, "but a little walk wont harm that much, would it?"

He didnt seem dangerous, she thought looking at him. And moreover she knew everyone here and everyone knew her. So she looked up at him and said, "Ok."

They walked outside for a few minutes and then came up and sat on a rock in a garden.

"I havnt seen you around here" she said, "You are a stranger, arent you?"

"You could say so" he replied smiling, "I move about here and there. I am pretty much everywhere all the time you know."

"So what brings you here?" she asked a little amused.

"Nothing as such" he said, "I was just here. And then i was there in the church and i heard what you said. I just thought if I could help you, of course if its okay with you."

"But..." she hesitated.

"See" he said, "there is no fear of your secret being leaked out if you tell me. Because no one knows me here. But I heard whatever you said there. And i know your trouble. So telling me can only help you. Isnt it?"

She thought for some time. And then she told him everything. How much she loved him. And how they were happy together. All her dreams and her wishes regarding him. And then how things started to change. How he started to take her for granted. And then how he began to drift away. And finally how he betrayed her trust.

"I dont know what to do now" she said slowly, "why do people who love have to suffer all the time?"

"Hmmm...." he muttered and then pointed towards a tree, "do you see that tree?"

"Yes" she replied. She saw the tree. Some kids were playing near it. Some were even throwing stones at it.

"Why do you think they are throwing stones at it?" he asked.

"Obviously to pick the fruits" she said.

"But why?" he asked again.

" What do you mean why!" she said "to eat them. because they are sweet and delicious."

"So you see" he said "the tree is being hurt only because it had something good to offer. Similarly people always hurt them who has something good to offer."

"Then why dont we stop offering the good?" she asked.

"Why?" he said, "Does the tree stop offering fruits?"

"No" she said, "then does that mean that we have to keep bearing like the tree?"

"Well is that all it does?" he asked.

"Then what?" she asked back.

"It grows!" he shot the reply, "it keeps growing. Its being hit, injured, its fruits are plucked off. And yet, the next day it grows and produces sweeter fruits. Its just that for the tree its about its physical features, while for you its your heart."

"But a tree is more strong" she said, "it has the power to endure all these blows and perhaps even more. But how can the human heart endure all these pains and still grow. It will succumb ultimately. Wont it?"

"Its true" he said "but then the tree has no choice but to stand and endure. But on the other hand you have free will, the power to choose, dont you?"

She sat there thinking for sometime. He was right. People always had the chance of choice. And probably she had made her already. Was their any way to go back to her normal life? For life never seemed normal without him. It was still hard to believe what he did.

"But why did he do this to me? What fun did he have in playing with me?" she asked disgusted.

"I should not say this" he said, "but perhaps he made his choice and it was not you any more. But he knew he couldnot face you because of the honesty of your love. So he sought refuge in treachery. I am not saying he was right. I am just saying what may have caused him doing so."

"You know" she said slowly, "all his friends laugh at me. And my friends think I am getting worse day by day. I feel so miserable. Sometimes I feel like dying."

"Hmm" he grunted, "You know the butterfly. No one loves it when its still the caterpillar. Everyone hates it. But does it end its life there? No. It grows. Imagine what would happen if all of them died there and then. Would the world ever enjoy the beauty of a butterfly? Time and life will always test you. And your answer to them is simple: wait and grow. Remember."

It was long since they were sitting there. Now he got up. "I guess i should be going now" he said.

"Wait" she called out, "What if he comes back to me? Should I...?"

"Well" he raised his hands stopping her, "Thats your choice. I cant say." Then he came closer and said, "remember, love all, but be for that heart that loves you the most."

"Will I ever be able to love again?" she said sorrowfully, "I may not."

He smiled and picked up a flower from the ground and giving it to her whispered a few words in her ears and went away. When he was out of sight, she looked at the flower. It was the most beautiful flower she had ever seen, and it gave out a mesmerising scent. Amazed, she forgot the whole world around her and kept looking at it.

"My child" the priest called out, "wake up."

Startled she got up. She was still there at the foot of the cross.

"You fell asleep" he said, "for along time now."

"I am sorry father" she said looking down.

"You look tired" he said, "Why dont you go home?"

"Yes father" she replied and was about to leave when the priest called her back,"My child."

She looked back.

"You dropped this" and he gave her the flower. Stunned, she kept looking at it.

"God bless you my child" the priest blessed as she left slowly.

Walking out of the church she remembered his last words, "Hurting the tree doesnt stop it from giving flowers and fruits. And with each blow it endures, each day it grows, its flowers become more beautiful, and its fruits, sweeter."

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written by: ARINDAM DEY

[picture courtesy: www.igougo.com]

This One's For You Bonny...

Life had tested me earlier in many harsh ways, like it has many others as well. But how can I complain! It has also given its biggest gift to me now in the form of you. Don't know if our destinies are pre-written. But whatever it may be, I am and shall always be thankful to my destiny to have led me to you finally, for giving me a chance to know you, love you.. and be loved by you...

This one's for you Bonny...

There is that place where darkness ends,

The world is brought to a bright sunshine,

A place where all desires and dreams,

Are unleashed in the realms of truth.

That place where hope lights happy huts,

And the horizon brings a promise of life,

You lead me there all day and night,

And make my life and me complete.

When tempests break down on my world,

And I am lost in seas of fear,

You shield me in your safe embrace,

You are my guiding north star there.

A love waits sheltered for my sake,

In those two eyes when I see you,

And in your lips when they touch mine,

That promise of forever too.

I don’t know what makes me to vow,

To love you in that way no does,

And steal a moment to be just yours,

Even if death decides instead.

Hold me once more in you today,

For then I am so safe and home.

To all my reasons and my soul,

To my bliss and my love, to you…

Stay by me like this today, tomorrow, forever...

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written by: ARINDAM DEY

[picture: That's her, of course!]

Thank You So Much!!!

I feel honored to have been chosen over by Patsy Blacksawyer as the recipient of the Best Blog Award. This award was originated at the WillOaks Studio, a great blog itself. Thank you so much mam!

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Wet Touches Of An Old August...

{Republishing this post with minor changes. This got publshed in the september edition of the N.O.W. Magazine, Delhi. Hope you like it... - Arin}

The boy looked outside the window. Little drops of water kept playing with the glass pane. The clouds were still heavy. There were no distant possibility of the rains to stop. The class inside was pretty boring as well. Almost two-thirds of the class was absent due to the overnight rains that continued in the morning as well. Even most of the teachers were absent. But he came. He had to come. Because she would come too. And she had.

And it was just after the fourth period that the school decided to call the classes over. Every one was happy, but not him. He had missed another three long periods of looking at her. Looking at her smile, talk and even at times glancing at him. And today even the class pressure was not there. What could have been more romantic than a day like this! 'God must have the worst sense of romance' he thought.

The streets were all water logged, not uncommon during this time of the year. While the elders cursed the government for it, their younger counterparts enjoyed it like anything. The boy came out with his umbrella & bicycle. He was just about to ride it when he saw her coming. Today, just like his friends, all her friends were absent too. So she came playing with the water by herself. She didnt have an umbrella. He waited for her to come up.

"Hi!" she said, "so you got no friends today?"

"No" he replied, "so it seems with you too."

"Yeah!" she smiled, "a little rain and they are all shut inside."

He smiled, "So ... you got no umbrella?"

"Oh ya i have" she said, "I used it while coming, cause i didnt want to get wet then. But now that i am returning home, i dont mind the rains!"

"All right then" he smiled and folded his umbrella back into his bag.

"Arey, Why are you closing it?" she was confused.

"Well..." he said hesitating, "if u dont mind... then... may i give you a ride to your home?" and then added immediately almost as an excuse, "its actually on the way to my home you know..."

She looked at him for sometime and smiled, "Okay."

The two rode through the water logged isolated streets as the drizzle kept on soaking them. For him, it was like a dream. And sitting in front of him was the very princess of those dreams. He felt strong and yet he was scared. He didnt know what he was. He could smell the wet fragrance of her shoulder, and the scent of her hair almost mesmerised him. The feeling of her cuddled into his arms there invoked a strange unknown feeling of ecstasy in him, as if he was living a moment called forever. A moment that was his very own. A moment that no one could ever take away from him. He wanted to drive the cycle in the best way he could making it as comfortable for her as possible. He was nervous. And so was she too. Never had she done anything like this before. She could sense his warm breath on her shoulders and neck, and feel the flex of his muscles around her. She didnot know what went on inside her but she knew that she wanted every moment to linger a bit longer. Never had she felt anyone so close to her. And something inside her told her that she was happy it was him. They tried to talk but something kept them silent. Perhaps they didnt want their voice to disturb the warm intimate dialogue that their hearts were having in their silence. Minutes passed like that. The only thing that sounded was the little droplets of water blessed from the heavens. Gradually they came near the girls house. She got off.

"Thanks" she smiled.

"You are welcome" he said with an effort.

He looked at her. She stood in front of him completely drenched. He could see the little droplets that ran down her cheeks. Her uniform clung onto her body, totally soaked. He swallowed a lump.

"What?" she asked softly.

"No... nothing" he felt caught, "you are fully wet. Go in quickly or you might catch cold."

"Why dont you come in? Till the rain stops?" she asked.

"No" he said almost against his will, "i'll be fine."

"Why?" she said, "I can catch cold, cant you? Are you so differnt from me?"

"No-no" he was embarassed, "i didnt mean that."

"Then come in" she insisted, "look at yourself you are totally wet, head to toe. Let me give you a towel, rub your head. you'll go once the rain stops."

"Actually" he said hesitatingly, "it seems the rains will only get heavier. So let me go before it starts to pour hard."

She looked up at the sky. the clouds had no doubt got darker. She gave up, "Ok... but you'll be okay na?"

"Oh yes" he smiled assuringly, "My home is just ten minutes ride from here."

"Ok" she said slowly, "just go carefully. See you."

"Yup" he mounted his cycle, "see you tomorrow."

He had barely gone a few yards when she called out, "hey just a second."

He stopped. She came running to him.

"What?" he asked.

The water drops were still rolling down her cheeks and neck. She looked around once. And then brought her face near his. As if sensing what she was doing, he leaned in too. And she whispered earnestly in his ears, "Are we really that different?" and planted a soft kiss on his cheek and stepped back. For a moment she stood there giving him the most incredible smile, and then she ran back. He stood there, stunned for a few seconds. then he looked up at the heavens once as the rain drops doused his face. 'Not that bad sense of romance after all' he thought smiling and rode off...

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written by: ARINDAM DEY

[picture courtesy: www.photobucket.com]

A Droplet And A Ripple...

It was there, clinging on to the edge of the leaf and was about to fall, fall into the little puddle of water below… The Droplet.

Yes, the droplet was ready to give up and surrender its existence to the little puddle below. But something made it cling on, that little longer. Perhaps a desire to stay that fraction of a second more in company of the green leaf. The same green leaf that held it, nurtured it and was now ready to offer it to the little society of droplets underneath.

What was it? Just a droplet! Where did I come from? No one knows. Perhaps a fog, a dew, an overnight drizzle perhaps from nowhere but it was now here. It existed and existed with a distinct identity. An identity that was now to be submerged into the flow of millions – to be lost.

Reluctantly, the droplet left the shelter of the leaf. All the time it went down, it pointed towards its once safe, soft and sure shelter. And then with a little ‘whimp’ it dropped into the puddle.

Don’t know what strength the droplet had in its heart or what amount of agony or what purpose it set itself to make it so heavy. As it fell, it created a huge ripple all around it. Yes, it was the sign of revolution. It said that it was here to make changes, to transform the society of droplets into the way it learnt intuitively from the soul of the world. To live with a distinct identity. But, something else happened. The ripple it sent around gradually died out and with time, silently the pool of droplets engulfed it. And its existence was lost.

But yes, the water in the puddle never remained the same again. Because the droplet fell, the ripple was created, the mud was churned, and the color of the society of droplets changed forever.

We may be a droplet in the ocean of people, but it requires only one to churn what lies within us and change the course of destiny…

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written by: ARINDAM DEY

[picture coutesy: www.inmagine.com]

My Sis...

My sister passed away a few days ago... She was a wonderful girl, a free spirit and a true soul, all the time she was here with us... This ones for her...

A flower lies there on the soil,

Its petals trampled by present,

Its fragrance lost in the past,

Its absence locked in future,

Is it dead? I dont know.

Will it bloom again? Perhaps not,

Will it scent the world? Never again,

But still is it dead? I dont know,

Are they ever dead? I ask,

When our hearts are still alive?

The shackles of reason,

The bonds of earth,

They are all broken now,

And the spirit is free to soar,

Are you alive? Are you dead?

Does it matter anymore?

For you are today,

Your fragrance forever,

The world was always yours,

And now paradise, more than ever...

I dont know what to say, but it would be really nice if you, my reader here, may take a moment off and pray for the peace of her soul, wherever she might be, my sister, Mum...

Thank you...

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written by: ARINDAM DEY

[picture coutesy: www.truedoveways.com]

To Where You Are...

Dear ...

You complained last night that I got a little too emotional in my last letter and that made you sad too. May be I did. But I just cant help it. You know me... dont you? Anyway, lets leave that aside for the time being...

Happy Birthday dear! I know, you are a little upset with me. I am so sorry I wished you late. But as you know I am always so late in doing things that I ought to have done much earlier. If you were here I could say that I did it intentionally so that everyone else could wish you first, and then my wish would be the last, lasting forever. And I could see that incredible smile again that this excuse brought to your face every time I wished you late, sometimes intentionally. You are smiling, right... right? Come on, I know you can never be so upset with me for so long. Ok, see, I have something to make it up to you. Something you always loved. I named it 'To Where You Are...'

This ones for you dear...

There was a world I used to see,

A world so deep in us,

Where the sweet winds chanted hymns of love,

And the morning dew crowned the grass.

A world where the woods whistled tunes,

And the birds sang fairy tales,

Where the blue streams cackled on the pebbles,

As they ran through the green vales.

A world where the stars adorned the sky,

And blossoms bloomed to sunshine,

Where the moon shone bright with all promise,

A world where you were mine.

A world where you came days and nights,

And loved me like the storms,

Where your kiss rested on my lips,

And your self in my arms.

A world that is so lost today,

Since you left me behind,

In this cold earth, of phoney folks,

That world I cannot find.

Oh come back to my dreams tonight,

And take me away so far,

To the world where love met love so free,

And there, to where you are...

Did you like it? I wish I could read it to you, while you sat in front of me listening, amazed like everytime when I read you something I had written. And then I wish slowly you could come up to me like old times and whisper in my ears the portion that actually went wrong and then compensating that by ruffling my hair and telling about the lines you loved the most. Gosh! I miss you... Come back... once... just once...

Happy Birthday to you once again dear... May your soul find peace, and all the happiness wherever you may be...

Forever yours,

...

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written by: ARINDAM DEY

[picture courtesy: www.flickr.com]